- I wake up more mornings feeling weary in not-well-doing than I do feeling well-doing in most anything.
- My bed is just about the only thing in my house that gets cleaned up on a daily basis.
- I have enormous shopper's remorse and guilt, nearly every day, over nearly every purchase.
- I take everything too seriously.
- I hate money, don't ever want to think about money, and wish I didn't have to constantly talk about money.
- My most frequent prayer is, "Help me, Jesus."
- I sometimes have very little patience for my sweet kiddos.
- It's been 10 years since I've been paid for anything I've written.
- I do most of my design work in MS Word.
- There are five piles (and growing) of laundry in my little apartment waiting for the time - and the quarters - to be washed.
- I don't believe motherhood to be my highest calling.
- I passively aggresively pray for other people's attitude changes or improvements, but in all fairness, I also pray the same for myself on an hourly basis.
- I always aim for perfection, but am nearly perfect at mediocrity.
- I don't have the Jesus-following, unconditional loving, and grace-giving thing all figured out yet.
Just wanted to put some of these things down in writing because I think what moms are really good at is making it look like we've got it all together all the time. Usually, the writing that comes from the breath of my life is made up of months and years of tears and heartache and scribbling and questioning and searching and praying.It's only after I've figured out a thing or two that I'm able and willing to share it with you. :)
So, thank you for joing me here. And put it in writing: What's your confession?
My confession:
ReplyDeleteI have the ability, the resources and the time to write - but not sure, very hesitant of how to do it.
I stayed home with my kids for 13 wonderful years. Loved every minute of it. We didn't have much money - but we lived each second, enjoying life.
So in this realignment (retirement) stage I seek Him with all my heart, and hopefully somehow I can "feed His lambs" because I know that is what He wants me to do.
Blogging is helping me to reach out and touch lives. Prayer is my method of living - living prayer.
Change is inevitable and Ann Voskamp's book, One Thousand Gifts, is changing me once again.
Love meeting you and your family,
Jan
A lot of these things resonated with me. The buyers remorse especially. I also always have some sort of guilt associated with every purchase I make. It was a bit better after the Dave Ramsey course, but now has gone back to the same difficulty of staying within a budget...maybe because my children consume more or prices are going up, or both. But you have reminded me that it is time for another family budget meeting.
ReplyDeleteI also take everything seriously. I'm not sure what too seriously is...that might be part of the problem. :)
I often don't have patience with my girls, but watch them display qualities each day that I wish I had.
Really a great reminder of the thing I have been learning about the last 6 months. Confession is essential and brings peace. I need to do it more.
Thanks for sharing, Ladies. :) I've been feeling this overwhelming urge to be transparent, and am thinking it will either hopefully encourage others, or make me look like a giant weirdo. Either way, honesty is it's own reward and I'm encouraged by your own journeys, thoughts, fears, issues, victories, etc., etc., etc.... :)
ReplyDeleteI think it is wonderful that you are transparent. I hid behind a facade for many years - no "real" friends until I met Christ, joined women's groups, went to conferences and started to write about what He told me.
ReplyDeleteI am reading a book called Weird because normal isn't working. Great book. We are not to look to the world for any of our knowledge but to God.
Praying that you may do this - not worry, fear, fret or back away because He is in control.
Love and respect your kids and your husband. Love God.
Blessings once again,
Jan