Sunday morning is quiet and dark. It's the last one of the year and church is taking a day off. There was one major dog-related casualty in the night, the guts of a Buzz Lightyear pillow spilled out over the whole of the office. And the house is empty, minus two.

I think I'm fairly good at goodbyes now, and when they depart two hours before sunrise, I give long hugs and trade I love yous, stand at the door and wave through steamed glass. Then Christmas is over, I get back in bed with the children. We go back to real life and spend the afternoon by the sea. After 9 days with them, I'm full and contented. But a day or two after I miss everyone all over again, all the people who did not come. I long for my sisters, miss the company of my nephews, wish I could send the kids with their aunts and uncles into the snow.

I remember a year ago, all stuffed into Matt's parents' house, weighing suitcases and driving ice-covered Wisconsin backroads. We had left home on our long way back home. We'd already lived two and a half years in the in-between, what was two more weeks, anyway? In the basement, we'd sit on our knees, sifting through our past and future, packing and repacking what would remain. Christmas was sweet, yet heavy. Time was both long and short. We were finally, blessedly moving on.

Today our home awakes. Most of us, anyway. Cocoa sleeps on her couch, exhausted by the early morning shenanigans. The children trade turns eating and playing, Beautiful Day plays on the radio (my favourite thing about Christian radio here is the prevalence of U2 on the playlist, even if the DJ speaks only in Irish this morning). Laundry and hoovering and one last piece of chocolate pie wait for me. We made it together, my grandma and me, here in my kitchen. In my house. In this country we now call home. She left pie and pictures and memories in her wake. A year of settling insanity, a giant cake of beautiful change, topped with the icing of family on Christmas morn.

The house is quiet, dark. Empty but full. I'll take it, 2013. I'll take it.

My "one word" for this year was HOME. And I think we made good on it, making home here. I've not yet got my word for 2014, weighing a couple in my mind and wondering what this next year could hold. Did you have a word for 2013? A resolution, a hope? How did it go?

Dear Sister {Christmas can wait till May}

Dear Sisters,

Christmastime has come and nearly gone and this is the first bit of time I've been able to sit down and write a few words for quasi-posterity. It has been a whole year now, since last Christmas Eve, when we said our long goodbye and headed north for Ireland. I find myself thinking of you all week long; not in sad, homesick ways, but in happy memories of past adventures and wistful thoughts of one-too-many hands in the kitchen and white chocolate pretzels by the handful.

Our house is a happy one at the moment, to be sure. There's a dog now, and two grandmas, and Christmas movies and pie and coffee and sunshine. Ella has literally never been happier, as she squeaks puppy toys and cuddles with Cocoa on the couch. They sit there, all twisted up in blankets and I think this may be the best Christmas ever. Asher walks up and down the hallway with his guitar, dancing in the glare of the sliding glass doors, and Great-Grandma and I dance to his music. That moment or two where we swing hips side by side, laughing, will live on in infamy. Jack finished his lego masterpiece in record time and we each take pilgrimages to his room to survey the wonder. Mom sits with tea and a book, reading Seamus Heaney or cuddling a sick child. I eat pie. Lots and lots of pie.



But still... you are not here, and I am not with you. Oh sure, you have your own families as I have mine and I think this is adulthood and real life. Most everyone is separated by cities or states or oceans. We send e-greetings, trade photos and post on Facebook, together in spirit if not in person. I know you both wore red, that the boys were silly, there was ice on the ground and a candelight service or two. You've been kept abreast of our activities, pictures of Mom and Grandma on Killiney Hill, Jack leaning over a mixing bowl. We are not truly alone and apart, but still I am lonely for you.

So this Christmas, as you are huddled in Kansas City, as we plant ourselves deep in Dublin, know you are loved. You are missed. You are treasured this day and every day. And I long to sit near you, laughing and posing, ignoring the children maybe just a bit, lingering over the dinner table one minute longer. The Irish homestead saves a place for you, a door forever open.

And in May we will dance at a sister wedding. Christmas together can wait until then.

Love,
Me




Sometimes I write letters to my sisters, women young and old brought to me through blood, circumstance and Jesus. Today I write for the two I share wedding photos and nephews and Christmas Eves with. Who are you missing this time of year?

Comfort & Joy

From our Irish home to yours, we wish you tidings of great comfort and joy.

Surely He taught us to love one another
His law is love and His gospel is peace.

The t-shirts were an excellent Christmas gift from my sis' fiance Nathan at The Record Machine. I'm pretty sure this will be our new family uniform. Walking advertisements, we are.

Happy Christmas, friends.

Five Friday Favourites

CHRISTMAS EDITION! We're very literally in a vastly different place than we were last Christmas and I try (sometimes unsuccessfully) to maintain some semblance of tradition and familiarity among our ever-changing scenery. So here are a few favourite things that are keeping us all in the holiday spirit!

1) This old picture ornament of Ella. Our tree is filled with old photos that tell stories of our children. We carry them in a shoebox across oceans. And this one... I hardly remember her like this, as her personality today is as big as her eyes are brown. But I remember we were on holiday at my dad's and she had just woken from a nap, walking away from me in the April Kansas sun. She was simply golden.



2) Eastside Manor Christmas Sessions 2013. I'm always on the hunt for new Christmas music and was so excited to see several of my friends promote this folky album from Noisetrade. So far, so good.

3) Family coming for Christmas! I've been shouting near and wide how my Granny is coming for Christmas, 92 year old Eleanor the First. She's only been to Ireland once before and needed to make a return trip before her passport expires. And even though we'll be seeing her in May for my sister's wedding, and even though my mum was just here in August, I can't wait to open our doors wide to them early Thursday morning. I also can't wait for her French Silk Pie. That may or may not be the main reason we invited her. Just sayin'.

4) Family cinema parties. I love Christmas movies almost as much as I love to torture my children with Christmas movies. They always say they don't like Elf, but every year they sit all the way through it and laugh till the end.

5) Storytime snuggles with the two puppies.

What's on your plate this holiday season? Favourite Christmas album or movie? Favourite tradition? 

Christmas cards for the indecisive with Minted

I am notoriously indecisive. My husband can attest to the amount of time it takes me to choose between different options of mild cheddar cheese in the grocery-store dairy aisle. I weigh everything, and then I second guess my first, second and third instinct until an hour later I'm paralyzed by price per kilo and I grab three packages of string cheese and head for home.

So yeah, it's kind of an issue. Especially when it comes to design and even more so when it comes to Christmas cards. I want to be whimsical, yet organic; fun, yet elegant; timely, yet timeless. But most of all I want our family Christmas cards to be unique: a snapshot-peek into the values of our family and the importance of the season.

One might think perusing holiday card options over at Minted would put my indecision into hyperactive overdrive. I mean, really:




I wish I had designed this card. I also wish my children would sit this sweetly together for any length of time. This picture of my own children may not look so amazing with a Minted design, though it would at least improve it:

Remember our peace experiment? Calm-ish seems about right.

And not only are the designs beautiful, but I was surprised to discover Minted also gives you the option to personalize cards with different paper, borders or colours. They also have plenty of non-photo cards to choose from as well. This is so much better than perusing the Christmas card aisle in Target during this crazy shopping season. Oh, and they offer free envelope addressing.

My usual default to indecision is overpowered by the knowledge that the perfect design for sharing Christmas cheer from the Emerald Isle is in this batch of offerings. For our family, we're not looking for flash or loads of fonts. We want something that says, We miss you. Wish you were here.

And I love the ethos behind Minted:

Our mission is to find exceptional artists and designers all over the world and bring their work to consumers who appreciate great design.

So check out the selections at Minted if you're interested in trying something a little different for your holiday cards. Sadly, compliant children not included.

What say you? Do you send out Christmas cards? Photo cards? E-cards? 

Disclosure: this post is sponsored by Minted. I'm happy to partner with them because I value good design and supporting artists. The views expressed here are entirely my own. Visit my advertising page for more information.

The peace experiment

I have a little helper sitting next to me. It's the big kids' homework time, so he and I are doing our "work" upstairs on his bed, pressed up against his window, a gray sky our backdrop. He's tracing lines on the LeapPad, working on his writing, practicing how to hold a pen. The pincer grasp has been tough for him to master, so with each "good job" or "you're doing great!" he flashes me a crooked smile. He's four, and though primary school is less than a year away, I can't imagine him walking through giant glass doors, a tie around his neck and a crest on his chest.

After the mid-term break had finished and the morning angst of school days had come back to haunt our kitchen table, Matt and I wondered if there wasn't a better way to do this whole thing. The parenting, schooling, working, living, serving, loving type of thing. It's not like our lives are insanely busy. Our extracurriculars are at a minimum and the only thing that keeps our car moving in opposite directions is Matt's unorthodox work schedule and the school drop-off/pick-up puzzle. So when he said he thought we needed to "practice a month of peace," I laughed at him. What should we drop, then, I asked. We're already about as bare bones as you can make it, and still each morning we run around like headless chickens in search of coffee. How do we institute peace here when this is as calm as life will ever be?

The answer, we think, is not in doing less stuff. We still have to feed children and show up for meetings and do laundry every day. He's still in Dublin one day, Clare the day after, and I still hustle three children to three different schools twice a day. These things have to happen; we are already doing less stuff. But how we approach these necessities, and the broad stroke with which we allow our kids to work within them, needs some tweaking. Not twerking. Tweaking.

And, wouldn't you know, we're 50 days out from the New Year. Advent is fast approaching. And life - as it tends to do in the holiday crush - is about to get much more wild.

So our tweak is this: peace. Our intention is to infuse peace in our daily, little acts of chaos.

Not just for us, but for the children, too. We want them to treat each other with gentleness, responding to conflict in peace, and they will learn this from us as we model it. I'm assuming. Hopefully.



We need peace during homework and at the dinner table and in the back seat of the car on the way to church. We need peace at bedtime and bathtime and quiet time here on Asher's bed. And we need peace in this city and in this country and in the queue at the shop. And we wait for the Prince of Peace, the way we do every year, except that we usually forget about Him till the last minute. On Christmas day He arrives with guests and gifts and we think, "Oh, there You are. I totally forgot You were here." And for the Christ-follower to forget that Jesus brings peace? That is not the way I want to go about life.

I don't know how this is all going to work, but we're thinking of some ways to institute peace. We are starting to be mindful of the loudness we live with and how to quiet the noise. We are asking for words and Scripture and prayers that speak of peace. We want it to fill the rooms in this house and overflow into the streets, infuse every interaction and conversation we have with those around us. That's our hope anyway. And along the way, I'll share some bits of it with you. You and I can sort some of it out here, define peace and peacefulness and peacemaking... and figure out if it's even possible in a family filled with strong personalities and at least one mildly destructive streak.

This is our peace experiment, for these next 50 days, plunging head-first into the most wonderful and chaotic time of year. And today we begin with Ash and I on his bed. Him and his LeapPad and me right here, writing to you, giving brother and sister some peace while they do their homework.

Oh, and you should know: this isn't a blog project, another 31-days-type challenge. Matt and I want to do this for us and for our kids and for the family and home we want to nurture. Sharing here along the way will help keep me accountable, though there will be other stuff happening on these pages, too. And when it all goes to pot in like three days, I'm sure you'll find me back here lamenting my lack of follow through and my usual lazy mom ways.

Or we can just forget I ever said anything. Deal?

***

How peaceful is your home, family, relationships? What white noise is clouding your blue sky?

Christmas card preview...

Joy For All Christmas Card

Create from the Heart: photo Christmas cards from Shutterfly .

View the entire collection of cards.

A Christmas gift guide (for the family on the move)

One question has plagued us for the last two Christmases: what do you give the family, the children, the friends who are about to move? We've been in a perpetual state of waiting to move for that long and even before that, were always searching out new, small, easy to pack yet meaningful treasures for our wee three.

With that in mind, I'd like to offer...

 
1) DIGITAL GEAR : You may see this as a cop-out, but I see this as a God-send. If you've ever travelled 28 hours in a van with three kids in the course of one weekend, you know what I mean. Now is the time to maybe corral your mutliple item gift-giving into a single more expensive, but long lasting (and peace-keeping) digital gift. 

Ideas: E-reader, MP3 player, portable dvd player (if moving by land), handheld game device (if moving by air).

Pros: The whole family will be entertained and occupied during the move and long after; games, videos, books or music can be purchased affordably online or in stores; easily transportable; many options come with headphones.

Cons: Large one-time expense; screen-time overload; if moving overseas, check region restrictions.

2) BOOKS : Thanks to the e-reader, travelling or moving with your library intact is so much easier than before. Everytime we move, we unload our collective body weight in books. But this time, we are taking an e-reader loaded up with our favourites. If the family in question doesn't have a Nook or Kindle or are afraid of it like I was, children's books or colouring books are still in vogue and easily transportable via backpack.

Pros: gift cards (Barnes & Noble, Amazon, iTunes) make online purchasing and downloading easy and fast (no need to check region restrictions); affordable apps and games for kiddos; you can literally read anywhere; educational fun for the whole family.

Cons: Internet connection to download is a must (once downloaded, no need for wifi); children may be prone to losing gift cards; that one free app that keeps freezing up the Nook (I speak from experience).

3) CLOTHING : I don't want to pack things that will no longer cover the belly buttons of our growing children, so before we move I take a strict inventory of the clothes we have and what we'll need. Things to keep in mind: the climate, shoe size (I always forget this!), socks and underwear, layering, seasons, wrinkle-free options, and puffiness of winter coats.

Pros: practical gift giving you know they will benefit from; clearance for off-season items keep it affordable.

Cons: some children may not react favorably to opening a present filled with socks. Ignore them; you know what's best.

4) TOILETRIES : If moving overseas, do not underestimate the gift of toiletries. The comfort your loved one will feel when they taste their favourite toothpaste, smell that one brand of shampoo that suits dry and frizzy hair, or live worry-(and perspiration)-free without having to find deoderant for a couple of months will be INVALUABLE. For reals. Tip: gift it to them in a tupperware container for ease in packing and containment of possible spills.

Pros: low investment; small and easy to pack; practical with a capital P.

Cons: not super sentimental or fun; requires research (as well as checking airline and security requirements for liquids); spillage.

5) LUGGAGE : A few times the grandparents have bestowed upon our children new suitcases and/or backpacks. They love this! Within moments they're filling it with the rest of their gifts and excited for their new adventure. 

Pros: super practical; wheels for ease in transportation; options are everywhere and prices widely vary; will carry all of the above gift options.

Cons: requires checking of airline size and weight limits.

6) PHOTO ALBUMS : This is where practicality gives way to sentimentality. Before we move I ask family members to cull together photos of themselves and the kiddos into a small photo album. They want to remember you, want to hear stories about you, want to kiss you goodnight. What? No, I'm not crying... moving on...

Pros: can be made digitally; small and cheap photo albums available everywhere; easy to travel with.

Cons: Requires effort (and tissues).

I realize this is a pretty specific gift-giving guide for a pretty specific purpose in mind, but we all know someone who is downsizing, living in flux, or travelling. Whether you or your loved one is moving across state or across oceans, these gifts will help you go together.

Have fun, go shopping, pack kleenex.

Ooh, I should mention that this was inspired by Jen Hatmaker's christmas gift giving advice: "Something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read." Thanks, BFF. What is your favourite practical or family friendly gift idea?

Picture Sunday :: 31 days of messy parenting {day 14}

Oh yeah, this is a good one from the days of yore.

You can almost hear the screams...

I'll be sharing some of my favourite family photos on Sundays this month. Join me and comment with a link to your favourite (or not so favourite) family photo; one with a story to tell, maybe... I would LOVE to see your mess. 

Christmas in review

We had a brilliant Christmas with my family in Kansas City. Our stateside tradition is Christmas Eve with my dad's fam and my lovely brother and sisters, and then Christmas lunch with my mom and sis. Nothing disappointed! Feel amazingly blessed to spend another holiday with them.

Some awesome pics from my dad (pics of Christmas day will come later):

laughing at Home Alone

kids got pizza!

me and the wee lad

my big sister and eldest nephew

sisters!

J-Lo and C-Lo

the red-headed nephew - he loves football!

gift chaos

the man and i did not so well distributing gifts

the cousins - showcasing the wee lad's new trick

For those interested in such things (I've been told there are actually people who *enjoy* cooking), Matt made Delia's roast chicken with Riesling, grapes & tarragon for Christmas lunch. I highly recommend this recipe. It's a bit of work, but the smiles and full tummys are - I'm told - worth it!

Ting-ting-tinging on a December night

I'm listening to the ting-ting-tinging of raindrops falling down our strange metal-type chimney. It leaks air and is a bit of an eyesore, but we still get a sense of grandness with the small perk of a fireplace, even if it's in the corner of a first-floor apartment instead of at the center of our home and hearth.

Christmastime is here, and I'm always a little more nostalgic, a little more sentimental, a little more teary-eyed and a little more homesick. No matter where are, I still get those slight pangs in the heart that seem to echo the thought, "I miss something, but I'm not sure what it is." It could be Dublin, or Chicago, or Kansas. It could be those first baby years, those first marriage years. It could be my friends, my family, or my childhood.

And I always find myself here, every year, by the lit tree. The lights turned off, a child asleep and the ting-ting-tings of rain, wondering, what is it I'm still aching for?

decorating my mom's place

a virtual christmas card!

The hubby and I usually send out Christmas cards to all of our supporters, but this year we're also sending out some family Christmas cards to our friends in Ireland. Here's a preview!

Handwritten Wishes Christmas

Turn your favorite photos into your favorite Christmas cards!

View the entire collection of cards.

The Lord has blessed us with some seriously cute kiddos. Major props to my dad and step-mom for providing the gorgeous backdrops for their photos, both in Kansas City and North Carolina. We feel so fortunate to have had this year near our families!

So much happening, and yet nothing at all

Christmastime around here is the season for everything happening at all once, usually a bit late, usually a bit overdone, usually a bit off schedule and out of wack and over budget. And yet, there's really not all that much going on... besides just stuff. White noise.

So because we're still in the States, for our second Christmas in a row (last Christmas for awhile? do I dare say it? do I dare even think it?) perhaps it is time for a wee top 10 list. It's been awhile and the wee ones are all in various stages of not sleeping and I've got a Boulevard Wheat spurring me on towards sentimentality, so here we go:

Source: amazon.com via karen on Pinterest

Top 10 things I love about my hometown at Christmas:

1. The Plaza lights. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you don't know Kansas City.
2. No snow. I hate snow and KC in December is the perfect place to be cold, but dry.
3. Shopping. I love that things go on great sales this time of year in the US. And I love that I can stop by any shop and pick up a little something special for not much cash that makes it feel like we're creating a home.
4. Movies! Any excuse to watch holiday movies with the wee ones, or going out to a movie on Christmas day with my sis and mom.
5. Church. I love worshipping with friends and family at the holidays. Sadly, we've not been to our new church home in a few weeks, and I miss it. And I'm happy to say I miss it. I think it's lovely to miss something, and to be missed.
6. Football.
7. Music. I love that no matter where you are, music makes a home sound like home and yet can still take you back to a far off place. We listen to Sufjan Stevens Songs for Christmas all winter long. It's brilliant. And fun for the whole family. And takes me back to winter in Dublin and the coffee shop by the sea.
8. Friends. When we're in KC, we have new friends who've just moved here, old friends who come back home, and friends who were always here and saved a place for us.
9. Family.
10. Jesus. He finds me wherever I am. And reminds me of why I'm even following Him in the first place. This is the first home He gave me. And He's given me so much.

What do you love about the place you find yourself in this season?

christmas fun

So, what I really want to do is write. But my head is a jumbled mess, so instead I'm gonna share some recent pics of my beautiful family. Lame, I know, but think it will inspire me. Or at least make me happy to share the beauty that is the wee Hs.


my sisters, daughter, and me


the crazy random unsuitable family Christmas pic


the jolly wee lad


the big boy reading his Bible


the Eleanors (mine is on the left, with Eleanor the First, and cousin Eleanor)


new stockings for a new home

JOY