Just a typical Wednesday night with the wee three...
We appear to be in a season of non-movement. Things are happening, to be sure, but it feels like we're frozen here in time while the rest of the world chugs right on along without us. The leaves are changing, the sky darkens and threatens, people are moving house... and we reload the dishwasher, wash chubby bums, heave laundry from friend's house to friend's house, waiting.
I wrote before about the women's brunch, about Elizabeth and the impossible and being called to wait. I shared with them about the time of rest, of just being with God, not necessarily doing for God; about how He meets us here and speaks within the silence, filling the empty spaces with grace.
Great, life-affirming stuff there. The ladies loved it, sharing their own stories of waiting with me. [i pause to yell at the naked toddler.] We ate cinnamon rolls and we prayed. I thought, "Yes, Lord, I'm finally learning a thing or two."
But today, I want to move. Be moved. I don't really want to wait anymore. Two and a half years (or 4 years, wait - no - 8 years...) is too long. I'm ready now. We're ready. Can't we go, yet?!
He speaks to me in the silence again, waking me up before dawn, calling me. He lays me down beside Asher (in his new toddler bed, from which he can break free at any moment), giving me nothing to do but talk it out with Him, give it up to Him.
“You only need a tiny scrap of time to move toward God,” writes Lauren Winner in Still, via a fourteenth-century English monk.
Small scraps of time, of movement, of a long obedience in the same direction.
We are moving.
***
I'm finding that I have to relearn the same thing over and over (and over) again. Anybody else have that problem?
Yes...I know waiting. We waited more than 2 years for one of us to get a job. It's more than 3 years and I'm still waiting. But....I have learned one thing. All those people that say that we need to more forward until God shuts the door are wrong. Our culture frowns on inactivity. God doesn't He doesn't want us to get ahead of him. Sure I can make something happen. But, is it good for me? Is it God's best? Will he bless it, or will I simply have short-changed myself from his best blessing. Waiting isn't fun. In God's economy waiting isn't wasted nor is it inactivity. He grows us and prods us and stretches us. And it's painful. The world can't see that. Only he can. And maybe a few of us if we look with his eyes.
ReplyDeleteLet me encourage you to wait on him. His timing will be perfect. And clear to see in hindsight. Maybe.
And... I love the quote from the Monk.
May you know God's fabulous favor as you wait.
I forgot to tell you....
ReplyDeleteI have no idea how I found your blog. It was just up in one of my tabs. What I clicked from....I have NO idea. Hmmmm.
Ha! Thanks for stopping by and for your wisdom above. Glad you found the blog, anyway. :) Will make sure to pop over to yours!
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