I am the living worst procrastinator, which is a darn shame because I am always looking for something Super Important to do and then, predictably, dropping the ball (Asher was kind enough to reenact this). Here is my cycle of shame:
- I am constantly bemoaning my lack of purpose,
- so I start volunteering for things,
- then freaking out.
- Then I start drinking all the coffee
- and not sleeping.
- Then crying.
- Eventually buckling down,
- locking myself in my room till the wee hours,
- and finishing whatever big project
- I insanely volunteered for in the first place
- and will do so again
- because I never learn.
Today I'm nearing the end of the latest Super Important project and I'm so excited. And anxious (I cannot confirm or deny I am, in fact, procrastinating at this very moment). In the putting-off and dragging of feet, I am becoming more aware of my limitations. And in an effort to accept them and learn from them, I am trying to say "no" more. I am praying for discernment more. I am waiting it out more. And I'm aiming to embrace the title jack of all trades, but master of none, with a dash of laziness added to the mix.
OK, maybe I'll leave that last bit off the business cards.
Can you relate at all? Is this a fake-extroverted-introvert thing? People pleasing paranoia? Is this a symptom of my lack confidence or, perhaps, over-confidence? I need answers!