I am currently doing a whole lot of nothing. Well, apart from lying in bed, reading, watching movies, lying in bed some more, taking meds, trying not to think about food, and... well... lying in bed. Having my wisdom teeth removed was actually quick and painless, but the recovery is long and bumpy and painful.

a total of three, but this impacted one was the "doozy"

All in all, the family is surviving nicely. Husband has had a slow couple of days, so everyone is fed and clean and relatively happy. We are having long quiet times here, where we each occupy a corner of the apartment, playing with legos or reading books or catching up on The Daily Show. The lights are off and today it gently rains and if it weren't for the ubiquitous ache in my jaw, I'd be quite pleased.

But instead I'm sore and tired and have got the dry mouth and miss food. Have I mentioned food? I miss it! All the chewing and the eating. Oh, how I miss it. It turns out the whole experience of food eating isn't just about how it tastes on your tongue. My tastebuds are still intact and the pizza I "ate" today was good. But without the ability to chew and crunch and use those fine molars, eating is slow and exhausting and not very fun. Within a few centimeter-sized bites, I'm ready to give up.

Diet Coke tastes the same and ibuprofen is my friend. The sweatshirt I've been wearing for two days might smell just a little bit. My face is hideous and I'm thankful for long frizzy hair to hide the massive, bruised goiter that juts out to the left (is that how goiter is spelled? I've never had to use it before). I look disturbingly like the Wii Mii the boy created for me some two years and 40 pounds ago.

My bed and I are BFFs, and as I try to find a comfy way to sleep with my fat face and sore teeth, I thank the man who put that pallet headboard together. I may look weird, feel gross and tired, am starving and strung out on hydrocodone, but that pallet headboard says I am loved and at home. And the plethora of stuffed animals tucked in around me say my children want me better. And the toddler asleep on my chest says there is no better time than right now for a long cuddle.

Ok, so it's not so bad.

On sick days we hold one another.

On sick days we hold one another. Sticky, chubby fingers find mine as he breathes (not so easily), in... and out... Croup has come to roost in our too-small-for-a-sick-coughing-crying-toddler apartment and I spend most of the day in bed. With him. Watching Barney against my will, but contentedly succumbing my hand and heart to his sad need for comfort.

Is there nothing worse than this, your child in pain? For however long or however it hurts. Any old hurt, really. A missed-out game or a straight-to-bed. A boy who longs for fresh air and playgrounds but remains sequestered under the quilt and sipping water. They trade off hurts all day long and I hurry from one to the next with kisses and band-aids.

So today, in between whimpers, we hold on. I remember that this is where it's at: being there for them when it hurts. This is good and right. Dishes in the sink, work on the table, clothes on the floor... they are nothing compared to this. A mother doing nothing but sitting by her child's side.

I see he's safe and resting and I get up to go. "No, mommy here," he croaks. So I lie down next to him and he smiles, pain-free for the moment. Sticky, chubby fingers back where they belong.

Bits & Pieces

I'm a bit under the weather, so I have an excuse to sit on the couch and play on the laptop, ignoring the children, and watching old episodes of Lost. :) So here's some fun stuff. Just for funsies.

My friend Larissa put me on to this site for digital scrapbooking. I haven't tried it yet, but I love to scrapbook (when I have the time and energy!) and maybe sometime will give this a go. It's really pretty and fun to look through if nothing else.

Some friends of ours participated in this extreme sports racing type thing last year in Ireland. Looks super cool and fun and one day I might like to try something like this. We'll see... But I will tell you this, hearing our friends talk about the experience of it, I couldn't help but get a few tears in my eyes. Really beautiful.

I'm thinking about selling some stuff on Etsy. Maybe some graphic design-y type stuff like monogrammed art or something. Maybe. Could be a creative outlet and perhaps bring us in a bit of extra cash. Who knows? What do you think? I do have a friend who sells things on there - check it out!

That's it for now. Sigh, cough, sigh... I need a nap.

Baby blues

So I'm feeling a bit trapped at the moment. The girl has a fever, the baby has colic, and when the man is at work, I'm stranded in the middle of the country without a car or a friend or a sister.

(sorry, tears came so I had to pause)

When the girl was fussy as a baby, I would just pile everyone into the Jeep and take them to Target, or go have lunch with my mom downtown. I'd visit my stepmom and nephews after school or take the kids to the park in the city that I loved so much. But here I can't do any of that. I just sit and wait and pray, hoping that eventually everyone will fall asleep and I can rest or cry, usually both.

Oh, but the big boy is brill. As long as I keep a steady stream of crisps and cartoons coming, he's happy as a clam.

So this is a joyful post. 9 more months and we go back to the States for home assignment. Is it wrong that I'm almost nearly counting down the days? Guess I'll just chalk it up to baby blues. It's normal, right?