Thoughts on Going

The original title for this was "Thoughts on Leaving", but leaving implies a whole lot of permanence, and though sneaking doubt and fear lies at every corner, our going is a temporary thing. With that in mind...

I hate to go. I hate to say goodbye. I cry a lot. I hug a lot. I get awkward. My words get all messed up and my heart hurts a lot. Like, physically hurts. I can literally feel little pinpricks of pain in my soul. I want to say the things I didn't get the chance to say, but don't know how to say them. I get frustrated. I feel like I should've done more. I wish there was more time. I get afraid. I worry about the future. I'm afraid I'll be forgotten. I'm afraid I'll forget. I want to take everyone and everything with me.

But...

This is all temporary. Only a fleeting a moment. Reunion waits on the other side. Will things be forgotten? Yes. Will things stay the same? Probably not. Going always involves a little bit of sacrifice, from both sides of the ocean. But to go back and be remembered... that will be sweet.

See you soon, Ireland. Wait for me.