Being known by people who've known you for years and still love you anyway. Feeling normal or at least not out of place. Walking into a shop or cafe where friends are waiting for you. Knowing exactly what you want to order/buy and exactly how much it'll cost you. Living under the same light as everyone else - no spotlight, no magnifying glass that burns your skin when pointed right at you. Feeling the freedom to make slight mistakes without the resulting feeling of complete failure.
Whatever it is, there's a feeling in my chest that's growing sore. I can't put an exact finger on it, determine the cause, or prescribe an effective antidote, but it's there and leaving me weary.
So my new rule with a sobering post is to also reflect on a praiseworthy thing (see below). My praiseworthy thing this week: over this past year, the definite recognition of one new friend, who came over for tea last night. It may seem small to you, but it is a huge, praiseworthy thing for me.
A new friend is a BIG thing.
ReplyDeleteExcited to see that new baby! Thankful for your friend.
Thinking of the nature of "home", I thought I'd mention a revelation from little N from our past couple of months. We figured out that to him, "home" means our destination THAT NIGHT. I do feel sad that we haven't given him more stability in these past months, but then I am overcome by how truly flexible kids can be. If only we grown-ups could feel at "home" anywhere.
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