Flux

29 April 2014



A soul-friend of mine sent me a quote today, about writing and God and being confused, and how sometimes writing about God IS about being confused. One of these days she'll show up here and share her own confusing God thoughts with you, because I think you need to hear them like I needed to today... I'm confused, too. Not just about God and writing, but because I'm in flux. And this blog is in flux because I am in flux.

And my migraines have returned, with such shocking full force that I've had to step away from the computer, from the kitchen, and occasionally from the children, just to catch my breath and close my eyes and pray it passes. They tend to come when I'm distracted and anxious, when the trees are sprouting new blooms and the seasons change, when the world itself is in flux.

Soon I'll be travelling, but before that will come some more visits regarding my visa, putting me back in a state of stress I'd so rather be living beyond by now. And I've spent too much time lately wondering what I'm meant to be writing about, wondering what this blog is supposed to be about, wondering what I'm going to do with this one wild and precious life? You know, besides mothering and wife-ing and carpooling, coffee-ing and walking and befriending, worshipping and laundering and praying.

But that's what life life is. It's not on the blog, on a screen. It's in the air, even if that air is making my sinuses implode right now.

So I'm off to spend these beautiful spring days in the garden with my kids, with my sisters, celebrating family and marriage and grace. And when I come back, things around here will look different. In fact, things may not even be here.

But I'll take you with me, and we can wander together.

4 comments:

  1. Ugh, migraines suck. I hope your visa troubles sort themselves out! And wherever your blog ends up, I'll be wandering there with you for sure!

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    1. Thanks for the comment and encouragement, Jamie. I'm hopeful the visa issues will be resolved eventually. And I'm glad you'll still be reading! We'll see what happens to this space (I secretly have no idea! ha!).

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  2. I read this by Henri Nouwen just this week, and it encouraged me. I have so many jottings and notes which don't feel blog-ready (I'm the worst blogger really) but have somehow been helpful to me anyway...

    "Writing can be a true spiritual discipline. Writing can help us to concentrate, to get in touch with the deeper stirrings of our hearts, to clarify our minds, to process confusing emotions, to reflect on our experiences, to give artistic expression to what we are living, and to store significant events in our memories. Writing can also be good for others who might read what we write.
    Quite often a difficult, painful, or frustrating day can be "redeemed" by writing about it. By writing we can claim what we have lived and thus integrate it more fully into our journeys. Then writing can become lifesaving for us and sometimes for others too."

    Praying your migraines lift. They suck so much. And praying you recognise the depth of meaning in your ordinary days xx

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    1. Oh, I love this excerpt. Thank you for sharing it with me!! x

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